Thursday, October 27, 2005

Results

Today I saw Dr. Goodman for the results of my CT scan. Good news! He's pretty sure it's not cancer (yeah, i heard that one before). My ca125 is 5... still normal. My blood counts and kidneys and those other blood functions are fine. But the results of the CT scan shows abdomenal wall thickening and possible swelling of the small intestine (some technical name that starts with a "d" that I don't remember). This is the result of the surgery. Radiology suggested I also get an ultra sound. Not quite sure what they're looking for. So that'll be coming up in the next 2 weeks or so.
It sucks, to get rid of one problem (removal of the tumor) you end up with a WHOLE other problem (scar tissues = abdomenal problems). And if it's scar tissues that's causing the pains and discomforts... there's basically nothing you can do. If they go in and remove the scar tissues, that just causes even MORE scar tissues. So basically, you just have to get used to this new feeling of discomfort in your life. =(

I also requested to have a follow up with a Gynocological Oncologist (an oncologist who deals specifically with female cancers). Not sure when that's going to happen yet. But I've been told it's HIGHLY recommended to be followed by a GYN ONC. Which makes sense.

Can you believe there's only 2 more months til the end of the year??

posted by Linda V @ 11:52 PM 0 comments

Friday, October 21, 2005

CT scan today

Today I'm scheduled for a CT scan. *holds breath*

Next thursday I have an appointment with Dr. Goodman to discuss the results of the blood tests and CT scan.
..............................................

it just occured to me.. that this will be my first scan alone. Gerry can't get off work to be there with me. He's just able to drop me off. =( How am I going to down 2 bottles of barrium alone?! The last 2 times, I had Gerry there to cheer me on. For those of you who've had these barrium smoothies know how hard it is to drink it. *ack*!!




i'll update again later...

posted by Linda V @ 9:23 AM 0 comments

Monday, October 17, 2005

Update

Hm... It looks like it's been 2 weeks since my last post. I better get an update on what's been going on in my life.

Oct. 3, after about 7 months of medical leave, I returned to work. I tried a full 8 hour, but was burnt out by the end of the day. So I decided to work half days until I feel I'm ready for more. It's been pretty hard to get myself back into work. It's harder than I thought it would be. Mentally, emotionally, physically.

John (my brother) made it out of surgery and is doing fine. (He had his gallbladder removed which was something that had been giving him problems the past year). That's one less thing to worry about.

I got a chance to see my mom!! She had a chance to fly out here to be with John during his surgery. It was so great to see my mom again. To taste her cooking again. Just to have her near by... it's always nice to have mom by your side when you're not feeling good.

I got the results from my blood test (ca125). It was a 4. Which is GREAT (was 467 at time of surgery, dropped down to 5 at last chemo). But Dr. Goodman (oncologist) wants me to do it again tomorrow. Plus, he scheduled me in for a CT scan. I know this is the only way to get this "what if" that's been hanging around out of the way. It's driving me crazy! It hasn't been 3 months since my last chemo and I'm already running back to my doctor.

Right now, I'm not feeling too well. I think I'm catching something... cold? flu? ... or just allergies. But usually my allergies turn into a cold. Either one... I can't afford to get sick!! My throat's been itchy. I feel so tired, exhausted... I didn't go into work today.

Feels like 7 months ago, my life was put on hold the day I went into surgery. Oct. 3, it started back up again. It kinda feels like I've been abducted -probed, organs removed, poisoned -then put back on Earth. Now I'm expected to live life as normal. I'm standing here confused. It feels like a dream. Sometimes, I think to myself... was it all a dream? Did it really happen? Then I look down and see my scar on my belly... I look in the mirror... and realize, it wasn't.

I think I'm stressing myself out with trying to deal with so many things going on in my life all at once. I don't remember when my life felt so caotic. I just have to remind myself to deal with one thing at a time, or else I'm going to drive myself crazy. Sounds easier than it is.

posted by Linda V @ 5:27 PM 2 comments