My life after chemo

Cancer-versary

1 year ago today... I was lying on the operating table. The surgeon came downstairs to tell my mom and Gerry... it was cancer. Thinking back on all I went through... it's surreal. I don't remember a whole lot. It seems like I went through the whole thing with my eyes closed -just waiting for it to be all over. I was very blessed that I didn't have any complications through the surgery, chemo, or the recovery from both.

What's been hard for me right now is trying to get back to regular life. It's been so frustrating not being able to do what I used to do, not being comfortable in my new body. I still don't like looking at myself in the mirror. Even though my hair is growing, it's not growing fast enough. My eye lashes are still short. There are times when I feel like life is getting too hard, overwhelming ... I just want to curl up and cry. I hate that I feel this way. Is this a normal post chemo feeling?

Sometimes, I feel like just because I'm done with chemo and I look normal... everyone is expecting me to be normal. And when I tell people how hard life feels overwhelming, they look at me like I'm making it up, like I should be Ok by now.
I have to remind myself every day... that it's going to take time.

Gerry and I spent the day at the Oakland Art Museum, took a walk around Jack London Square and finished the day with dinner at a Thai restaurant. The weather was nice, clear blue sky. Great weekened to be out.

Here's to another year.

posted by Linda V @ 9:21 PM